Time Candy

Everyone has their time candy. The thing they do when they're avoiding that thing they should be doing. Mine is reading New Age websites. I'm particularly addicted to Solara's NVisible and her work with the 11:11. Ok, don't switch off. Hear me out. As an addict, I'm also a connosieur, and I read Solara's because she's so damn accurate. She says things like: this week we're releasing pockets of the past, and it's going to be painful but quick (my paraphrase. check out Solara if you want the horse's mouth). Purification. And that's what it's been like for me.

The weather's doing some purifying in Ohio at the moment. Traffic lights are at a horizontal as high winds kick leaves into crunchy brown vortices. I'm in Borders, and Tony Bennett's singing his creamy and mellow 'there'll be peace at Christmas' while the wind snaps branches in the parking lot. And that's sort of what it feels like in my body at the moment: that abiding peace that's moved in and decided to make a permanent home in my chest, but at the same pockets of the past burst, showing me the fear I used to feel reaching out for my deepest desires.

Overlaying it all is this vision of Oregon and the Pacific Northwest where my family lives. I missed Thanksgiving for living too far away for the 20th year in a row, and I'm really done with that. I'm beginning to seriously dream how we can make life there a reality for us within the next 2 years. (I've actually set a personal deadline, but I'm not telling yet.) It inhabits alot of my thinking during dawdling time - dishes, driving, or catching myself staring out the window, body in Ohio, spirit in Oregon.

When I moved to Ohio, I had these dreams of going along a river road looking at houses. I saw how the light moved in bars through the trees, and how the bank cut steeply above the road. Six months later, I drove along the same road looking for houses with a realtor. That hasn't happened yet. But I have begun its precursor - the dreaming. Make it an expansive dream. Give it room for everyone to grow and thrive. Dream big! This is the intention, the planning phase. I can feel it coming, like when a woman knows she's pregnant before she takes the test. The exciting part is the journey, our onward journey of never-ending change.

May peace inhabit your heart.